Why Dating Apps and Sites Aren`t Working for You

Dating Apps became massively popular in the last few years for a reason. Dating sites have brought millions of couples together over more than a decade as well. So if these dating tools work for everyone else, why haven’t they been working for you? That’s a fair question and these tips may help you solve the challenges you have faced as you try to go from online apps to real life love with just a few clicks!

You're Not on Enough Apps and Sites

For starters, have you taken a look at just how many dating sites and apps are out there these days? Back in the AOL era there used to be only a few places where singles looked for love online but now that has definitely changed. Each dating site or app has its own members community and a unique dating ecosystem. The girl who uses Tinder isn’t the same one you’ll find on FetLife or in any other dating community. You’ll want to get yourself listed on dozens of apps and sites to have the best dating results.

You're Not Active Enough

So you created a dating profile and haven’t been back to the site more than once a week since you started. That’s like going fishing with the same one worm on your hook for months at sea. Of course you won’t catch much. Dating requires your activity, become part of the community, show up to online events, and be willing to send private messages or to interact with others online. Even if you don’t end up dating them, you are increasing your chances of dating their friends exponentially!

Your Profile Is Sparse

When you go to any dating site or app you can see thousands of profiles. If yours is too sparse or generic you end up looking just like everyone else. That isn’t going to help you stand out from the crowd. Add some unique flair to your profile, be sure you have at least a couple photos up to show people you aren’t a weirdo and be willing to share at least enough about yourself to allow others to decide if they have things in common with you.

Your Profile Is Too Full

Once your profile is complete, don’t go overboard. You do need to save some things for the first date itself. If you tell her your entire life story online, she has no reason to want to meet you to find out more. Keep some mystery in your profile; give her reason to ask you questions or to wonder what else there is to learn about you. You are a complex person with many interests and ideas about the world, invite her in and let her take her time getting to know you best.

You're Not Initiating Conversations

Standing around in a club with your arms crossed isn’t the best way to meet a girl. Neither is doing the digital equivalent by joining a dating community online and then waiting for others to come find you. Instead, you ought to be browsing to see who else is out there and sending polite private messages to anyone who sparks your interest. Be willing to initiate conversations with dozens of girls and be sure to keep straight which one was which. They need to each feel like they are the only girl you are talking to, but in reality you should be courting at least five or six at a time all the time.

Your Conversations Are Impersonal

When you do reach out to someone, are you sending them the same form mail you sent to dozens of other girls already? Make sure you write fresh original letters to each that might borrow a few ideas from past emails but are tailored to fit each new potential mate perfectly. That sense of individual interest goes a long way in your favor.

Your Parameters Aren't Giving You Enough Options

Yes, you may want a girl between 5’ 1” and 5’ 3” tall who weighs between 99 and 107 pounds with blonde hair from 23-25 years old, but if you set your dating parameters with that narrow a focus you’ll be missing out on the perfect girl who happens to be 22 or the gorgeous 109 pound knockout of your dreams. Use loose parameters to allow more contact and then narrow down the choices to the one you want after you have had a chance to communicate with each of them.

You Don't Really Want It to Work

It’s always important to be honest with yourself. Take a closer look at your own dating profile and compare it with the profiles others have created. Are you subconsciously sabotaging your own efforts? Do you not want it to work for some reason? Make sure you are in the right frame of mind to find a first date and your dating app or site success rate will definitely go way up!

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