How to deal with nerves on a first date

First dates can be a nervous moment at the start of any one-night-stand or long-term relationship if you aren’t properly prepared with the right mindset. Too often, people think of these encounters as a time for an instinctive fight or flight decision to be made, but the truth is that you have much more time to relax and ease your way into conversations than you might expect.

You’re Both In It Together

Leading sociologists have published numerous scientific reports showing that the nerves go both ways, with women and men struggling about equally to overcome their first date jitters. Instead of feeling alone or insecure, you can often break the ice by simply acknowledging the awkward nature of any first date, and sharing those feelings with your new potential mate. Talking about your feelings and listening to her explaining how she feels is a terrific way to find common ground and begin the process of coming closer together.

Another important step in having a successful first date is being able to create the right environment. Some first dates do best in a loud club with banging music and plenty of physical contact while dancing. Others want a quieter, more conversational atmosphere like an outdoor cafe or a stroll through a local park together. Try to get a feel for what your new date might find the most comfortable and try to arrange circumstances that will suit her mood the best. When she feels at ease, your chances of success are much higher.

Always Consider The Basics

Simple things like good hygiene count quite a bit on any first date. It’s not difficult to understand why a woman would rather be on a date with a man who has showered, who looks and smells great, who has fresh breath and bothered to shave before going out. Those kinds of simple courtesies show that you respect her and demonstrate your willingness to treat her with care.

The best advice with the warmest intentions also needs to come along with a very important disclaimer. At the core of any first date, the single most important principle is that you remember to be yourself. You are unique; she agreed to go on a date with you for a reason. She already saw things in you that piqued her interest and she wants to get to know you better. Be sure to avoid the trap of trying to change yourself into what you think she wants you to be, or what anyone else tells you to be. Be yourself, proudly, because that’s what she wants to see the most.

Make Sure You Are Ready

It’s also important to acknowledge that timing matters. If you recently broke up with a former girlfriend, or are having a very rough time at work, now may not be the best time for you to start dating someone new. Make sure you are ready for a first date, because if your mind is busy with other things, your chances of a successful meeting aren’t as high as they should be – and having a bad first date with anyone ruins the chances of having a great first date with them some other time. Always schedule your dates when you are in the right frame of mind to be at your best.

Final Thoughts

During the course of your life you will go on many dozens of first dates. Each will be different from any before it or afterward. Trust yourself enough to enjoy the process. The simple fact is, not every first date will go perfectly, and that’s OK, there are many more first dates coming soon where you can continue to hone your relationship skills until you find exactly what you are looking for in a date.

All too often, dating turns into settling for someone that isn’t right for you or making compromises where none need to be made. Instead, be honest with yourself about what you really want, and be willing to chase after it one date at a time until you finally find it. Your happiness is worth the effort, and the right girl will completely understand how important it is that you both be compatible with each other right from the start. 

Goodnight and Good Luck!